So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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