Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
