I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
