hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
