PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
