We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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