Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
