and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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