I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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