I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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