let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
