I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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