oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
