Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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