Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
