on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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