I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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