no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
