beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
