Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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