i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im holly from the hills drunk
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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