I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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