dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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