I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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