So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
