well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
