How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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