Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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