That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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