Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
