its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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