I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
