Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
