rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize