So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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