Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
