you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You smell like stripper and shame
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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