Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
