Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
