my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The air was thick with penises
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
