just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
