"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
