Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
