just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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