he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
