I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
