Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
