Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
