I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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