Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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