I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
