yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
