i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
