Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
