i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
