I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
