So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
