I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize