so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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