At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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