so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
