we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
