I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
