Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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